There is a fine balance to life. Either you’re in it or your not.
I’ve never known that I could be both at the same time. And you really can’t be. You either have to be committed or not. In love, or in misery. But you cannot be sort of in love. You cannot be sort of in peace. You can only be in peace totally. Because that is the very definition of peace. Total bliss. Total love.
You may think that that is a very hard way to live. That it may be very difficult to live in peace. To attain to a state of peace. But that is because your idea of what bliss is, is construed. Your idea of it. Of living in peace, Of being in meditation, is based on a false idea. You think you need to be a Buddha. Or be a Jesus. But you do not. You only need to be yourself.
You will know when you are acting like yourself when you are acting without fear. Without fear of others. Without smiling when you don’t feel like it. And pretending to act a certain way because you are a “professional” or you are a doctor, or a teacher. When you stop acting from an idea of who you think you are supposed to be, then you will be yourself. You will live your truth.
The self you are, is the undifferentiated self. It is the self free from labels and emotions. It is pure energy. From this self you must act. This is the base of true acting.
You will go from anxiety to bliss and back again. But each time you return to bliss. You will remember how good it feels. And you will want to revisit. And you will. And more and more it will become your default nature. Just the very desire to become still will get you there. And then you will drop desire, and you will be just yourself.