Do we always know the truth? Not facts. Not factually. Like when we think for a fact it was that one comedian who did that skit and for sure not the other. Be the truth of ourselves. The truth that cannot be named. Cannot be described. But the one that is your feeling. The feeling inside of you that tells you something about who you really are?
Do we always know that? Or do we have to learn it? Do we have to uncover it? Is it really ignorance that makes it so easy for us to lie to ourselves? Are we really unaware of what we are saying, when to me, when I hear you, the truth is so painfully obvious?
You lie to yourself when you say that you did not have the right information. You did not have enough information. I know you are lying because of how much you are talking. You talk and talk and talk, because the more you talk, the more reasons you can come up with to rationalize why you are lying. You pile on more lies to hide the truth.
But why do this to yourself? Why not just say, “I was scared” or “I don’t know”. Because you know that that is the truth of your situation.
The act is simple. We don’t need more information. We don’t more reasons why we didn’t do something. You don’t need to impress anyone with your ability to come up with excuses. And really, you do this for yourself. You talk and talk and talk because you are trying to convince yourself of something that isn’t really true. You are talking to someone who isn’t there. You are putting on a show for no one.
You keep talking about something, but it is not the truth. You keep talking to someone, but there is no one there. Because only you are real. And you would never think to impress yourself. You would never feel pressured if you were alone. If you didn’t have to tell anyone else about what you did, or didn’t do. You wouldn’t have to worry about their judgement. About those people out there. And you don’t.