9/27/17 – All These Things That I’ve (not) Done

There are so many books to read! I have at least six sitting on my desk next to me right now. And I want to read all of them at once. Kind of, but also, there is one, now two after today’s mail, that I reaally want to read. But I probably shouldn’t start them because there is another, maybe more relevant book that I am into right now that I “should” be reading.

So what to do, should I focus on one book at a time? Maybe two at a time? Or should I read to my heart’s content whatever I want whenever I feel like it. That does sound nice, and beautifully poetic, but I also know that discipline will help me. I also know that if I focus on reading just one book at a time, I can probably digest the information better, and get through these books faster. Which is kind of what I want to do. Because I love learning from them so much. I want to read so much because what I learn fills me up with so much energy.

I have learned so much from books. The ideas that I have read from them have literally created my reality. The ideas have shaped who I am, what I do, and how I feel.

And it is not so much the books that I love per say. It is the ideas in them. Books and words just happen to be one of the most effective and practical ways we have of transferring ideas. Video is also great. That’s why I do it. Video is one of those amazing ways to spread ideas. That is why I am light bringer. I use video to share the light.

I am so excited to learn, and sometimes feel disappointed that I haven’t read more, because I have to go to bed, or I didn’t get home with enough time. But I could have always found time to have read more. And really, there is no reason to be disappointed.

I am sad because the idea is hitting me that I won’t be able to learn in time. That I won’t be able to learn fast enough to achieve something. And what is that something? I have no idea. I simply feel disappointed that I may not have achieved enough. Also I just really love to learn so I am sad that I didn’t get to do that. But ultimately, I feel that I am missing out if I don’t read fast enough. I want to take in more so fast.

But I forget that it is a single paragraph, or a single sentence, that gives me so much power. The ideas hit out of nowhere. It doesn’t matter the length of time, or type of book. It is not the quantity, it is the quality of what I am reading.

And I have plenty of time. I will read everyday and I will learn from books and finish them in due time. I just must let go of this silliness that I need to do everything right now and if I don’t I should feel bad.

No, I never have to feel bad. I leave it to God. I do what I do every day. The rest is not up to me. It is only up to me to be present.

 

photo: Poncedeleonphoto.com

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