8/26/17

Today was a fight between Conor Mcgregor and Floyd Mayweather. I was rooting for Conor all the way. I like the way he talks about himself. I like his self love. I know it is not arrogance, but self belief. Something necessary to embody in order to be great. It is nothing personal. He simply must feel that he is the best to be so. He doesn’t need to be humble. Fake humble because others are insecure. So what if he exclaims that he is the best? What’s it to you? It offends you? Only because you are insecure. You know this to be true. And if you don’t, you don’t matter anyway.

Mcgregor lost. It was as a similar situation I have had a few times now. In the beginning there is an initial belief that you will succeed no matter what. You must. That is the only option. It is the only outcome you can see. You want it so bad that you will do anything for it. Go to any length. Take any pain. But along the way, a realization comes that you don’t have to get it then. That time goes on forever so if you were to fail this time, it would not be a failure. It would be a lesson learned. Another time in which you have to try and try again. And you are used to this and OK with this and can accept it.

I thought there was no way he could lose. He dominated the first six rounds. And I thought he would KO Mayweather for sure. But this was not the case. As Mcgregor became more tired, I contemplated what the feeling would be like if he lost. I wasn’t excited about it. But I knew that no matter what, Conor would be OK with the outcome. I would be OK with the outcome. He had come so far and accomplished so much to be where he was at in that moment. Someone who had never fought a professional boxing match, duking it out very respectively with the greatest in boxing.

Conor has a lot left. A lot of time left. A lot of learning left. A lot of growth left. What an experience for him. What an experience to be able to gracefully and with stride accept defeat. And what a beautiful sight to see and hear the respect that Mayweather showed for Mcgregor and vice versa. There was obvious tension between them before the fight. Whether it was for show or not. Each wanted to scare and intimidate the other as much as they could. But after the fight, they embraced each other as friends. They left with a mutual respect for each other. What a victory for them both.
This whole day I have been able to feel different. Elevated to a place where I can remain cool. I can remain at peace. Amidst the onslaught of words and actions and thoughts that would cause me disease. That would cause strained reactions. Tensions. Anger. I was able to observe and let pass. Cooly. Peacefully. My infinitely expanding body keeps me there. The peace at my heart’s center expands infinitely. I am less a part of this world. I am more a part of the infinite. I am more hovering. Floating. Observing. Without thought or curiosity Simply being. Moving and flowing through me.

Days pass. And I learn more. I feel more. Am I stronger? Maybe. More aware? Maybe. I just feel more. And am, less. And more comfortable. More and peace. I accept my insecurity. I do not fight it. I live through it always.

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