I woke up today after vivid nightly dreams. I expect to have more tonight. And to record them in my dream journal. It is nice writing again tonight. I feel confident that I will continue to do so. This time not because I feel like it will be fun, but again, because it is necessary for my full development as a human. For my full development as a human/God entity. I am a vessel for God and this writing is my expression to aid in the development of him fully. This writing is for the future. For the present, as you are reading this now. Do not mistake that this writing was done in the past. It is being done as you read it right now. Each word you read comes to life in this moment. The eternal moment.
I continue to feel invigorated throughout the day. I have an energy like I have never felt before. I outburst in song words and exclamation frequently and feel clear and crisp and full of fire. Full of determination. Happy with the fact that there is so much to do. And whereas in the past when I would have felt the burden of all there is to do, I know take it in stride, ticking off tasks on the endless task list. Blissful about all of the work because I know that I live eternal. That this world is mine. That I live in love. That the day never really ends. That the night is day and the day is night. That my sleep and my dreams are also life. That I never fall asleep. That there is always something to look forward to. And that allows me to live gratefully in the present.
I met with Katherine today at The Washington Park Arboretum. A beautiful place filled with widely diverse species of trees and plants. It was so nice to be with her in love as a friend. She is so alive and playful. Like a child. Full of light. Full of kindness. It felt so good to embrace her like I never have before. As a friend. As a friend with no past and no future. As a partner on this journey. As someone to confide to. Someone who cares about me unconditionally. Someone who I could not drive away. Another friend that I do not have to fear for leaving. Where in the past I could never have a lifetime friend. I would have to leave. They would have to be forgotten. A relationship was something that is no more. But now, she is mine and I am hers. Friends forever. Kindred spirits. How good that feels.
I am now stronger in my ideology. Less afraid to say what may be unpopular. Less afraid to know that I can standby my thoughts without cowardice. Humble enough to change them in an instant when appropriate. Wise enough to pay attention to issues of the world. This world may be big, but I am here and it is my responsibility. Not my responsibility. My duty. Not my duty, my game. My game of life. I am learning the rules. Developing them as I go. I am learning the players. Seeing how their faces change throughout time. I look to the past to learn and connect them to the future. I see the patterns of thought and patterns of action. I look across the full spectrum of time to predict and create the future. I prepare and fight. Sit and calculate. Let go and act freely.
5 things I did great today:
- Hung out with Katherine on a whim. I am so happy to have spent time with her. I knew it was right to answer and see her. Nothing special happened. Which made it all the most special.
- Hugged Cole even though he refused. He didn’t really refuse. But as he exclaimed that he had a plate of food on his lap as I went in to hug him, I still did. And I told him I love him. We both need it for each other.
- Commented on Anthony’s post about SEO. My answer was the most simple. It seemed the most profound. The least complicated. But at the same time, the most complicated, and most likely most misunderstood. Regardless, I am happy that I publicly commented on a subject I am knowledgeable about. I was happy to put my input in for a friend.
- Played harmonica in the car. The car is a great place to play. I love playing. I feel myself becoming more and more comfortable with my instrument. More and more in love with it. More and more expressive.
- Told my brother I love him. I do so much.